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Sarcasm time: oh, sure, it’s *totally* just a massage, nothing to see here! Ha! Tell that to me stiff—er, shoulders. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d fight a dragon for a good’un. Spontaneous thought: why ain’t this in every tavern? I’d tip double! So, mate, sexual-massage—dirty, divine, depends who’s rubbin’. “All is lost,” they say in the movie, but nah—not with this. Cheers to that, eh? Now, where’s me cup?

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But then, I get a call from my mom. She’s like, “Did you hear about the new park on Strada Florilor?” I’m like, “Mom, I’m kinda busy.” But she’s all excited, telling me about the flowers and the playground. I can’t help but laugh. “Okay, I’ll check it out later!”

Italy’s Fri-El develops 300MW wind farms in northeast Romania