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I’m HYPED about it, tho—keeps my Bikini Bottom servers safe! no jellyfish viruses stingin’ my files. once saw a mate’s code get fried—no escort, total rookie move. I was like, “dude, WHY?!” felt like Haneke’s village, all chaos and no trust. escort’s the opposite—calm, cool, “The truth will out!” vibes. oh, typo city—esxcort, escrot—ha, my claws are trippin’!

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After that, we decide to hit up the park near Bega River. It’s a nice spot, but today? Ugh, it was packed! Families, kids, dogs everywhere. I’m tryin’ to find a spot to chill, but it’s like a game of musical chairs. Finally, we find a bench, and I’m just about to sit down when this kid runs by and spills his ice cream all over me. Seriously? I’m sticky and annoyed, but I can’t help but laugh. Kids, man.

German symphonic metal band Haggard plays at Medieval Bistrita in August