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But the surprises? Chile, the NERVE of some! This one dude I heard ‘bout—he sex-datin’ 5 gals at ONCE! I said, “Boy, you busier than a one-legged man in a butt-kickin’ contest!” And don’t get me started on them freaky fetishes poppin’ up—feet pics for cash? Halleluyer, I can’t! “We’re just trying to find the facts,” like *Spotlight* says, but some facts I don’t WANNA know!

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So, I keep walking, trying to find some peace. I hit up the park near the lake. It’s usually my go-to for reflection. But guess what? There’s a wedding happening! A freakin’ wedding! I mean, c’mon, can’t a Mourner catch a break? I’m surrounded by love and joy while I’m just trying to process some heavy stuff.

Fig. 2. Topographical map of Moldavia (1892-1898). Detail of the area...