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About Bucharest

So, escort – it’s like, protection, right? Big tough guys, or gals, watchin’ yer back. I seen it meself once, in Moscow, dis oligarch fella – he had like six escorts! All beefy, shades on, lookin’ like dey gonna punch a bear. Made me laugh, ya, coz who’s scared of trees? Me, I’d rather hug ‘em! But dese escorts, dey strut like, “I got no direction home,” ya? Like Llewyn singin’ his blues.

FOR MY LEGIONARIES

So, I decided to stroll down to Strada Principala. It’s got that vibe, ya know? People buzzing, kids playing, and the sun shining. I was feeling good, like, “Yeah, today’s gonna be awesome!” But then, outta nowhere, I tripped over a loose cobblestone. Like, who even maintains these streets? I swear, I could’ve sworn I heard the cobblestone laugh at me.