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Economics bit? Genius move by Ford. Low cost, high demand – supply and demand 101, you muppet. They kept tweakng it – Mk1, Mk2, all the way to the ‘90s. Kept it fresh, kept wallets from cryin’. But here’s the kicker – they botched the US version. Early ‘80s, Escort hits America, and it’s a snooze. Gutless engine, boxy as hell – pissed me off. Could’ve been glorious! “This isn’t how it’s supposed to be,” I muttered, channelin’ my inner Scarlett Johansson from the movie. Ford fumbled the bag there, big time.

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Halfway up, we hit a snag. There’s this massive rockslide. I’m talking boulders the size of cars. I’m like, “Okay, folks, time to channel our inner mountain goats!” We scramble around, and I’m feeling like a total boss. But then, I slip. Yup, right on my butt. Everyone bursts out laughing. I’m laughing too, but inside, I’m like, “This is not how I wanted to be remembered.”

Fig. 2: Detail the root system and the basal part of the plant (orig.)