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But yo, sometimes it’s gold. Met this girl—curves for days, motherfucker—pure fire! We’re bangin’, laughin’, no bullshit. She’s all, “I just wanna fuck and eat tacos.” I’m like, “Marry me, you perfect bitch!” Happiest night in forever—tacos post-sex, best combo ever! Little secret: stats say 1 in 5 hookups turn into somethin’ real—crazy, right? Didn’t expect that shit!

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But then, outta nowhere, a dog runs by, chasing a cat. And guess what? The dog knocks over a whole stand of flowers! I’m like, “Noooo!” Flowers everywhere! The bistro owner comes out, and he’s not happy. I’m trying to help clean up, but it’s chaos. I’m laughing, but also, like, “Why is this my life right now?”