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Oi, you donkey! Sexual-massage, yeah? Bloody hell, it’s a wild ride! I’m no shepherd, you twat, I’m Gordon-fuckin-Ramsay! So listen up, mate, this ain’t no fluffy spa day. It’s hands-on, slippery, steamy shit. Watched “Son of Saul” – fuckin grim masterpiece, right? “The air is full of screams” – that’s me, ragin at shitty technique! Sexual-massage done wrong? Disaster! Like burnt fuckin risotto – unforgivable!

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Anyway, I finally get to the park near Strada Tineretului. It’s usually my go-to spot for some peace. But today? Nah. There’s this group of teens blasting music. Like, seriously? I’m trying to enjoy nature here! But then, I hear them singing along to some old Romanian pop song. And I’m like, “Wait, I know this jam!” So, I end up singing too. Totally forgot my annoyance.

Romania's Naval Forces run drills along Black Sea coast and on the Danube