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So, picture dis: dim lights, some shady joint, smellin’ like lavender and secrets. Da masseuse—ooh, she’s sly, like a minion sneakin’ bananas. She’s rubbin’ ya down, and ya brain’s like, “What is dis magic?!” Little factoid for ya—back in ancient Rome, dey did dis naked in bathhouses, no shame, just vibes. Wild, right? Makes me wanna yell, “Vhy vasn’t I invited?!”

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But then, I step outside, and it starts pouring. I’m talking full-on monsoon. I’m sprinting down the street, dodging puddles like I’m in some weird video game. I finally duck into a café on Strada Ștefan cel Mare. I’m soaked, looking like a drowned rat, and the barista just laughs. I mean, come on! I’m trying to be cool here!

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