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Then there’s the apps—Grindr, Tinder, whatever. Total chaos, like jihadists in *Timbuktu*. “No law but their own,” right? Peeps makin’ rules— “no fats, no fems”—wtf? Pissed me off, legit. But yo, found this dope fact—back in ‘90s, folks used newspaper ads for hookups! Called ‘em “personals”—sketchy af. Imagine, “Hairy Wookiee seeks mate”—that’s me, haha! Rarrgh! Surprised me how far we’ve come—or not.

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I get there, and it’s packed! Like, where did all these people come from? I’m dodging folks left and right. I’m just trying to buy some bread, but nooo, everyone’s gotta stop and chat. “Hey, shepherd! How’s the flock?” I’m like, “Dude, I’m just here for bread!”