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oh, and the weird shit – escorts see it all, don’t they? one punter asked this lass to dress as a nun and slap him with a bible! i’m screamin, “what the fuck?!” proper *Toni Erdmann* madness – “is this really happening?” yeah, it bloody is! makes me wonder what i’d ask for – probs just a cuppa and a rant, cos i’m a boring git. escort’s a wild world, mate – dirty, daft, and fuckin fascinatin. you tried it? don’t lie, ya cheeky sod!

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So, I’m sippin’ my coffee, feeling all zen, when my phone buzzes. It’s a text from my next student. “Hey, I’m late!” Ugh, classic. I mean, come on, it’s not like I’m just sittin’ here twiddling my thumbs. I’m on a schedule, people!

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