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Ooh, and the surprises? This one dude sent a vid—not THAT kinda vid, thank God—but him singing off-key to impress me. I was like, “Bro, ur not Li Mu Bai, sit down!” Laughed so hard I cried. But real talk, sex-dating’s a game—u gotta be quick, like “strike with the wind” fast, or u miss ur shot. I’m out here tryna find my desert oasis, ya feel?

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Finally, I get my stuff and head to the park. It’s a nice spot, you know? Lots of trees, kids playin’, and old folks chillin’ on benches. I sit down, and this kid runs by, trippin’ over his own feet. I can’t help but laugh. Like, come on, dude! Watch where you’re going! But then, I see his mom rushin’ over, and I feel bad. Kids will be kids, right?

Laurentiu Urluescu, AFEER: “Ordinance 119 will destroy the energy market in Romania”