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But yo, check this—little known fact: escorts been around FOREVER. Like, ancient Rome had ‘em, called “lupae”—she-wolves, how dope is that? Blows my mind, history’s freaky. Kinda pissed me off tho, ‘cause why’s it always shady? Society’s all judgy, but they’re just hustlin, y’know? Reminds me of Spring Breakers, “This is the fuckin’ American dream!”—they’re chasin it too, just messier.

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So, I’m rollin’ down Strada Principală, just mindin’ my own business, when I bump into old Ion. That dude’s always got some wild story. Today, he’s ramblin’ about a bear sightin’ near the edge of the forest. I’m like, “Dude, are you serious?” He’s all, “Yeah, man! Big as a car!” I’m thinkin’, great, just what I need—bear drama on top of my charcoal burnin’.

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