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Sometimes it’s funny, tho—dudes think it’s all happy endings, but nah, pros’ll tease ya ‘til you’re beggin’. Sarcasm kicks in: “Oh, great, blue balls *and* a bill!” Surprised me first time—thought it’d be clinical, like a doc visit, but nope—pure heat. I’m sittin’ there, mind racin’, “Is this legal? Who cares!” Another quirk: I hum Metallica durin’ it—keeps me grounded. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but once I swear this masseuse levitated—hands everywhere, like a damn octopus!

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First stop? Strada Principală. Gotta grab my coffee, right? But guess what? The café was packed! Like, people were spilling out the door. I’m standing there, tapping my foot, thinking, “C’mon, people, I need my caffeine fix!” Finally, I get my cup, and it’s like heaven in a mug. But then, bam! I spill it all over my shirt. Classic me.

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