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But lemme tell ya what’s good—sometimes you strike gold. My nephew Jamal met his boo on some app called Hinge. Been together 2 years now! I was shocked—thought he’d end up with some floozy, but she sweet as pie. Sex-datin can work, y’all—just gotta wade thru the mud first. Pro tip: don’t send no nasty pics ‘til you meet IRL—heard too many stories bout them pics endin up on some sketchy website! Halleluyer!

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Finally, I get past that mess, and I’m thinkin’ I can finally get to work. But nope! I turn onto Strada Măgurii, and what do I see? A bunch of kids playin’ soccer right in the middle of the street! I mean, come on! I’m tryin’ to drive a tractor here, not join a pick-up game! I honked, and they just laughed. Little punks.