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Gets me ragin’, tho—the stigma. Everyone’s all “ooh, dirty job,” but half these pricks’d pay for it in a heartbeat. Hypocrites! Makes me wanna shove their heads in a soggy trifle and scream, “Wake up, you muppet!” Ain’t all dark, mind. Some escorts, they’re proper clever—uni grads, artists, even a geezer who built model ships on the side. Blew me mind, that did. “The earth is the earth!”—yeah, and people are people, doin’ what they gotta.

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First off, I hit up Strada Cuza Vodă for some coffee. You know, the good stuff. I’m talking about that strong Romanian brew that kicks you in the face. I order my usual, and the barista, this dude with a killer mustache, spills half of it. I’m like, “Bro, what’s the deal?” He just laughs and says, “More flavor!” Ugh, whatever. I just need caffeine, man.

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