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Great Scott! So, this chick, right—total whore vibes. Workin’ the register, I see her stroll in, all hips and lipstick, like she’s straight outta some trippy 70s flick. Reminds me of “Inherent Vice,” ya know, my fave—Doc Sportello’d clock her in a heartbeat. “What we have here is a situation!” he’d say, and damn right! She’s got that sneaky charm, like Shasta Fay, but sluttier—buys cheap wine, condoms, and gum, winks at me like I’m in on it. Pisses me off, tho—girl, I’m just tryna scan your shit, not join the party!

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First call comes in at 8 AM. It’s some dude from Strada 1 Decembrie. He’s all panicky, like, “My cat’s stuck in a tree!” I’m like, “Bro, call the fire department, not me!” But no, he insists. I mean, c’mon, it’s just a cat! But I get it, pets are family. So, I patch him through.

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