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Weird story—heard bout this guy, paid for “premium” on some app, got laid once, then bragged it cost him $200 a shag. $200! I’d rather buy a steak and call it a night. Sex-dating’s a gamble, innit? Sometimes you win, sometimes you’re broke and wankin’ alone. “I let him keep his dignity,” I’d whisper, but nah—he didn’t deserve it.

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So, I’m caffeine-less and wandering down Koshigaya Street. It’s packed with shops, and I’m just window shopping, ya know? Then I spot this cute little cat café. I’m a sucker for cats. I rush in, and it’s like a feline paradise! I’m petting this fluffy tabby, and suddenly, it jumps on my shoulder. I’m like, “Whoa, chill, buddy!” Everyone’s laughing, and I’m just trying to keep my cool.

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