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So, picture this – I’m layin’ there, oils everywhere, smellin’ like lavender and sin. The masseuse, she’s got hands like a freakin’ ninja, slidin’ and glidin’, and I’m thinkin’, “This is the big one!” – ya know, that *Ratatouille* moment when Ego tastes the dish and bam, childhood vibes hit. Except, this ain’t no kiddie memory, it’s grown-up, spicy, and I’m losin’ my damn mind. I’m happy as hell, like, who knew a backrub could turn into *that*?

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I rush over, dodging potholes on Strada Libertății. Seriously, these potholes could swallow a car whole. I’m almost there when I see this old lady struggling with her groceries. I’m like, “C’mon, man, help her out!” So, I do. I’m a good guy, right? But then she starts telling me her life story. I’m standing there, nodding, but inside I’m like, “Lady, I gotta go!”

Roads in South East Romania closed due to heavy snowfall, traffic disrupted in Bucharest