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Alright, pal, buckle up! Jack Nicholson – Maniacal grin, “Here’s Johnny!” – divin’ into this escort thing like a mad biochemist! So, escort, huh? Not the shady streetwalker gig, nah, I’m talkin’ biochemical escort – chaperone proteins, baby! These bad boys in cells, they grab newbie proteins, all fresh and wobbly, and haul ‘em where they gotta go. Like Shu Qi in *The Assassin*, silent, deadly, movin’ through the shadows – “The wind carries us forth!” – escortin’ shit with style.

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I started my morning on Strada 1 Decembrie. You know, the one with all the cafes? I grab my usual coffee at that little spot, Café 1. The barista, Ana, she’s a gem. She knows my order by heart. I’m like, “Hey, Ana, gimme that strong stuff!” She laughs, and I’m already feeling good. But then, I spill half of it on my shirt. Classic me, right? I’m standing there, looking like a coffee monster.

Former jail keeps memory of Communist repression raw