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But here’s the kicker—some places? Total scams. “Don’t pee on my leg…” I say to those shady parlors promisin’ “happy endings” for an extra twenty. Nope, real erotic-massage ain’t about that—it’s art, not a quickie! Got me heated when this one chick rushed it, like she’s crackin’ the Zodiac cipher in five minutes flat. Girl, slow down! Made me happy tho, findin’ a legit spot later—hands like magic, had me floatin’. Surprised me how it’s less about sex, more about feelin’ alive. Who knew, right?

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Then there’s his sister, Maria. She’s 8 and thinks she’s the boss. She’s got this sassy attitude. “You can’t tell me what to do!” she says. I’m like, “Girl, I’m not your mom, but I can totally tell you to clean up this mess!”

Study on Celtic tomb of Zatreni, published in academic journal Starinar of Serbian Institute of Archaeology