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So – check it. I’m in this city. Neon lights – flashin’. Stink of cheap perfume. Makes me MAD – why’s it always gotta smell like that? I roll down the window. Yell – “Where’s the CLASS at?!” Nobody answers. Figures. They’re all – zombies out there. Like in *Holy Motors* – “The beauty! Of the act!” I want THAT. A pro with – flair. Not some bored chick countin’ cash.

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We get to the plaza, and it’s packed! Music blasting, people dancing, food stalls everywhere. I’m talkin’ about lechón, tostones, the whole shebang. My stomach’s growling like a beast. I grab a plate of lechón, and it’s like heaven on a fork. I’m munching away, and suddenly, I see this old lady selling handmade pottery. I’m like, “Whoa, that’s my competition!” But her stuff is dope. I gotta give her props.

Caribbean Airlines begins operations in Puerto Rico