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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals! I’m The Auctioneer, bangin’ the gavel like Judge Judy on a bender, and today I’m spillin’ the tea on erotic-massage. Buckle up, ‘cause this ain’t no PG shi—stuff. Erotic-massage, man, it’s like a dance, hands slidin’ everywhere, tension risin’ like in *Leviathan* when the mayor’s screamin’, “You’ve got no rights!”—but here, you’re payin’ for the rights to feel *good*. Don’t pee on my leg and call it rain, this ain’t just some rubdown at yer local spa with lavender crap. Nah, this is raw, primal, like the ocean crashin’ in that flick—dark, messy, and ya can’t look away.

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So, I rush to the office, dodging potholes on Strada Călărașilor. Man, these roads are like a minefield. I almost twisted my ankle. But whatever, I’m in the zone. I get to my desk, and my computer decides to crash. Classic! I mean, come on, it’s 2023! I’m ready to throw it out the window.

‘Mocanita Transilvaniei’, back on track after almost 20 years