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About Hawalli

Little secret—dudes lie bout height, chicks bout age. Saw it on X, cracked me up! “You either die a hero or live long enough”—to get laid, haha! Rarrgh! Best part? No suits, no stress—just fun. Worst? Flakes. Hate em! Once drove 30 mins, she bailed—fuming! Thought, “This is my city,” gonna own it anyway. Grabbed a beer instead.

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Then, just when I think it can’t get crazier, a guy in the back starts waving his arms like he’s trying to take off. Turns out, he’s just trying to get my attention. “I’ll pay double!” he shouts. I’m like, “Dude, chill! We’re not at a football game!” But hey, I’m not one to turn down a good offer.