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Lemme paint ya a picture – dim lights, warm oil, maybe some slow jams. Sexual-massage got that *12 Years* grit too – “I will survive!” – ‘cept it’s me survivin’ how damn good it feels! Had this one chick, pro as hell, hittin’ my lower back – thought I’d levitate, swear to God! Surprised me, man, didn’t expect that spot to light me up. Almost cried “My name is Solomon!” – nah, just kiddin’, but it was deep, yo.

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First customer walks in. This dude, I swear, he’s got a cart full of stuff. Like, who needs 10 packs of toilet paper? I mean, c’mon! Anyway, he’s fumbling around, and I’m just standing there, tapping my foot, thinking, “Dude, hurry up!” Finally, he pays, but then he drops a pack of gum. I’m like, “Really? You just bought a mountain of TP and you drop gum?” Classic.