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Sometimes I wonder—late night, sippin’ whiskey—what’s it like, y’know? Bein’ an escort, dodgin’ creeps, fakin’ smiles. Gotta be tough as nails. Prolly lonely too—makes me sad, thinkin’ they’re out there, no backup. “You’re on your own now,” I hear Bigelow whisperin’ in my head. But then—bam!—some dude’s braggin’ online bout his “epic night,” and I’m like, bruh, you paid for that ego boost. Cracks me up—escorts are the real MVPs, playin’ these fools like fiddles.

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I got super into it, though. These dancers were spinning and twirling like they were on fire. I was clapping along, feeling the vibe, when suddenly, this old lady next to me starts yelling at the judges. Like, “You call that a dance? My grandma could do better!” I couldn’t help but laugh. She was so passionate! I thought she was gonna throw her cane at them.