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About Wiltz

Happy? Hell no—makes me wanna yell, “Pick a lane, lady!” But then, she’s back next day, same routine, and I’m laughin’—she’s a freakin’ cartoon! Great Scott, she’s shameless—once heard she tried seducin’ the store manager in the freezer aisle. Didn’t work, tho—dude’s gay as glitter. Ha! “You’re messin’ with the wrong karma!”—straight outta the movie, fits her perfect. She’s a trainwreck, but I can’t look away—kinda admire the hustle, ya know? Whore or not, she’s livin’ loud.

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Anyway, I start snippin’ away, and outta nowhere, this cat jumps out. I swear it was a lion in disguise. It freaks out, and I drop the scissors. They go clattering like a drum solo on the pavement. Old lady’s laughin’ her head off. I’m just standin’ there, red-faced, like, “Great, now I’m the village idiot.”

Police bulletin: Car break-ins in Strassen and Pétange, phone stolen at Gare