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But—fuck me—some places botch it! Greasy hands, stinky oil, like a bad risotto—infuriating! I’d shove their heads between bread and scream, “Idiot sandwich!” Done right, though? Heaven, mate, fuckin’ heaven. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who gives a toss? Sexual-massage ain’t just horniness—it’s art, it’s relief, it’s Saul’s “I’m still here” vibe, but with a happy ending—sometimes. Try it, you numpty, don’t be a prat!

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We start talking about their insurance needs, and I’m trying to explain some complex stuff. You know, risk assessments and all that jazz. But they’re just nodding, not really getting it. I’m losing my mind! I mean, I’m pouring my heart out here, and they’re just like, “Uh-huh.”

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