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Here’s the tea: it ain’t just rubbin’—it’s tease city! They use fancy feathers sometimes—yep, feathers! I ‘bout fell off the table laughin’, thinkin’ “Am I a dang turkey now?” And don’t get me started on the warm stones—felt like heaven decided to hug me personal. Surprised me so much, I near shouted, “Well, slap my ass and call me Riley!” Y’know, like that lil’ gal from the movie?

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Then, I hop on my backup raft. Yeah, I got a backup. Don’t judge! It’s a little wobbly, but it’ll do. I push off, and man, the water’s cold! Like, “I just jumped into a freezer” cold. But hey, I’m a raftsman, I can handle it. I start paddlin’ down the river, and it’s actually kinda nice. The sun’s shinin’, birds are chirpin’, and I’m feelin’ good.