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What gets me stoked is how they hustle. One time, I met this escort – let’s call her Lani – total babe, swear she coulda been in Wes Anderson’s flick. She’s all, “I provide a service, like a hotel key.” Smooth, yeah? Made me think, “Such a very good hotel!” – classy but sneaky, just like M. Gustave. She told me she once had a client pay with a freakin rare pearl – no lie, brah! I was like, “Whoa, that’s some Dr. Evil-level loot!”

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So, I’m in the meeting room, and my coworker, Andreea, starts talking about the budget. She’s all serious, and I’m just sitting there, trying not to roll my eyes. Like, we all know the budget is tighter than my jeans after the holidays. But she’s going on and on, and I’m like, “Can we just get to the point?”

Student, 20, chokes to death while eating cereal just months before finishing university