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Funny bit—stats say 1 in 5 shags from apps now. Wild, innit? We’s shocked, but not really—everyone’s on it, tappin’ away! “Love’s a shadow,” Godard whispers, and sex-dating’s the ghost—there, but not. We likes the thrill, hates the letdown. You tried it, mate? Tell us! We’s dyin’ to know—argh, it’s a mess, precious, a total mess!

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So, we’re chatting, and I’m trying to focus on my work. But then, this lady walks in. She’s got this posh vibe, all decked out in designer stuff. She looks at my furs like they’re made of cardboard. “Do you have anything… more… luxurious?” she says, with that snooty tone. I’m thinking, “Lady, this is Crevedia, not Paris!” But I smile and show her my best pieces.

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