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Me, I’m old-school—romance, flowers, ribbit! But sex-dating? It’s fast, messy, fun! Sometimes I’m jealous—frogs don’t got apps! Tho, imagine me swipin’—“Ooh, nice lily pad!” Heh, I’d croak at that! What shocks me? The boldness! Folks just say, “Wanna bang?”—no chit-chat! I’d blush green—er, greener!

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Then, I get a call from a client in a panic. They’re freaking out about their retirement plan. I’m like, “Chill, we got this.” But inside, I’m like, “Why do people wait until the last minute?” I mean, come on!