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But lordy, the flops! This one gal I know, swears she’s done after a dude showed up with a pet snake—wrapped round his neck like it’s a damn date accessory. How’s that workin’ for ya, huh? I’d be runnin’ faster’n a jackrabbit on a date with a coyote. And don’t get me started on the ghostin’—people vanishin’ like they’re in witness protection. “Life’s too short for small talk,” Toni’d mutter, and I’m like, yeah, but it’s too long for bad sex-dating stories.

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So, I rush to the office, dodging potholes on Strada Cărbunelui. Seriously, these potholes could swallow a car whole. I’m thinking, “Why can’t they fix these?” But whatever, I’m a financial planner, not a road engineer.