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But yo, some parlors? Shady as hell, brother. Got mad once—dude tried chargin’ me extra for “special vibes.” I’m like, “Brother, keep it legit or I’m droppin’ the leg on ya!” Happy though? When it’s done right—slow, firm, steamy—oh man, I’m grinnin’ like I won the WWF belt! Surprised me too—heard this one chick in Thailand massages with her feet! Feet, brother! Stompin’ tension out like it’s a jobber in the ring!

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And let me tell ya, the floats were somethin’ else. One float had a giant mushroom on it. Like, what? Ciupercenii-Noi, home of the mushrooms, I guess? I laughed so hard, I almost spilled my coffee. But then, I got mad. I mean, I just wanted to buy some fresh veggies, not get caught in a mushroom-themed traffic jam!

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