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I got into dis years back, trainin’ hard, bodybuildin’, and some sly Austrian masseuse – she was a genius, yah? – she showed me dis trick wid oils, slidin’ hands like a freakin’ ninja. Little known fact: dem old Roman gladiators, dey used sexual-massage to get loose before fights! True story, keeps ya limber, blood pumpin’, ready to terminate anythin’. I was like, “Whoa, dis is gold!” – made me happy as hell, like liftin’ 500 pounds easy.

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So, I’m measuring, cutting, and boom! I drop the glass. It shatters everywhere. I’m standing there, heart racing, thinking, “Great, now I’m gonna be the town’s laughing stock.” But the old lady just laughs! She’s like, “Don’t worry, dear. I’ve had worse days.” I’m thinking, “Lady, you have no idea!”

Best Tourism Villages: Romania selects three villages for the 2022 edition