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Then—bam—she flips me ova, starts gettin’ frisky. I’m like, “Whoa, slow down, doll!” Reminds me of that flick I love, *The Lives of Others*. Y’know, where that Stasi prick’s listenin’ in, all tense, watchin’ people live? “I’m not a machine!” he yells. Same vibe here—I’m no machine neither, just a guy wantin’ a rub! But fuck, it’s intense, her hands slippin’ everywhere, I’m sweatin’ like I’m in a sit-down with Johnny Sack.

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First stop, the market. Gotta grab some breakfast, right? I hit up the little bakery on Strada Scolii. Best covrigi in town, no cap! I’m munching on this warm, salty goodness, and I see this old dude selling fresh veggies. He’s got the biggest tomatoes I’ve ever seen! Like, are those even real? I’m thinking, “Dude, you should be in a museum!”