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I reckon it’s old as dirt—ancient Egypt, them pharaohs got freaky with it. Hieroglyphs showin’ oily hands, true story! Bet they didn’t tell ya that in school, huh? Makes me happy, real happy—floatin’ like I’m in zero gravity. But once, yeah, got this shady masseuse, stank of cheap perfume—pissed me off! Thought, “This ain’t no Dark Knight, this is a dark night!” Total rip-off, hands colder than deep space.

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Then, the auction starts. I’m up there, heart racing, and I see this old lady in the front row. She’s got this fierce look, like she’s ready to battle for a vase. A vase! I mean, it’s just a vase, right? But she’s all in. I start the bidding, and she’s raising her hand like she’s trying to take flight. I’m like, “Lady, chill! It’s not a gold bar!” But she’s relentless.

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