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But when it works? Holy crap, it’s gold! Met this chick, Lisa, total freak in the sheets—oops, TMI! We hooked up after two days of textin, fastest score ever! I was like, “Michael, you magnificent bastard!” She even laughed at my jokes, which, let’s be real, ain’t that funny. “We must do it,” Saul’d whisper, all serious, but me? I’m just tryna Netflix and chill, ya feel?

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So, I’m hustling through the market on Strada Mihai Viteazul. The smell of fresh bread hits me. I’m talking about that warm, crusty goodness. I grab a loaf, and boom! My day’s already looking up. But then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and snatches my bread! Like, excuse me, Mr. Pigeon, that’s my breakfast! I’m standing there, mouth agape, while this feathered thief struts away like he owns the place.

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