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About Ploiesti

Sexual-massage, right? It’s like—hands slidin’, oils drippin’, tension meltin’ like a cannonball through a galleon’s hull. Heard tell of this ancient trick—way back, them Egyptians used it, slatherin’ pharaohs in lotus oil, makin’ ‘em feel like gods. Little known fact, aye? Bet ye didn’t know that! Gets me blood pumpin’ thinkin’ ‘bout it—happy as a pirate with a chest o’ gold! But then—THEN—some bilge rat charges ye a fortune for it, and I’m ragin’ like a storm at sea. Why’s it gotta cost me last doubloon, eh?

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After my caffeine fix, I decide to hit the market. The one on Strada Victoriei. It’s packed! I’m weaving through people, trying not to knock over any stands. And then, boom! I trip over a basket of tomatoes. Like, seriously? Who puts a basket right in the middle of the walkway? I’m on the ground, tomatoes rolling everywhere, and I’m just laughing. I mean, what else can you do?

Two killed as snow, sub-zero temperatures paralyse Europe