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See, I’ve got this knack—spotting the real from the fake. “The town was a living hell,” like Grace said in Dogville, and these streets? Same vibe. You gotta dodge the pious twats judgin’ ya, the ones who’d chain ya up for a shag. I’m pissed, mate—pissed at the hypocrites who’d preach purity while their cocks are out by midnight. Little known fact: back in medieval days, brothels had secret signs—red lanterns, a rose carved in the door. Subtle, but I’d clock it. I know things, see?
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First off, the sun was blazin’. Like, seriously, I thought I was gonna melt into a puddle on the floor. I’m behind the bar, pouring drinks, and this dude walks in. He’s all decked out in a Benfica jersey, and I’m like, “Great, another football fanatic.” But then he orders a gin and tonic. A G&T? In Trofa? I mean, c’mon, we’re known for our vinho verde, not some fancy cocktail! But whatever, I whip it up, and he’s all smiles.
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