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Still, hate everything about it. The desperation, the pimps—oh, those scumbags deserve a woodchipper. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d watch. Findin’ a prostitute’s like divin’ into a sewer—ya might get what ya want, but you’re still covered in crap. Stick to whiskey and solitude, that’s my advice. Less mess, more dignity.

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Then, just when I think it can’t get crazier, a couple of kids run in. They’re like, what, 12? They’re giggling and trying to sneak a peek at the bar. I’m like, “Hey, this ain’t a playground!” But they’re relentless. They start asking me about the best places to hang out in Trofa. I tell ‘em about Parque de Nossa Senhora das Dores. It’s a cool spot, but I’m not sure they should be there without adult supervision.

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