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Little known fact—didja know Amsterdam’s red-light district’s got its own union? Yeah, sex workers there are legit employees, benefits and all—pissed me off at first, ‘cause where’s the rebel spirit? But then I’m like, “Huh, fair labor’s dope, actually.” Surprised the hell outta me—capitalism with a heart, who knew? Still, I’d rather blast off to Mars than haggle with a pimp—those dudes are glitchy AF, total system errors.

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Finally, I made it to the office. My boss, Ana, was in a mood. She’s always in a mood. She starts ranting about some project that’s behind schedule. I’m like, “Chill, Ana! It’s not the end of the world.” But she just kept going. I swear, I could feel my blood pressure rising.

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