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About Porto

Funniest thing? Once saw a john hagglin’—get this—over $5! Five bucks! I’m like, “Sweetie, even I’d charge more to listen to your sob story!” *Nasal snort.* Surprised me how cheap some folks are—makes ya wonder, right? Oh, and here’s a tidbit: in the ‘80s, cops busted this ring run outta a deli—prostitutes slingin’ salami by day, somethin’ else by night! Wild, huh?

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So, I’m takin’ bets left and right. Everyone’s all pumped up, and I’m tryin’ to keep my cool. But then, I hear this loud commotion outside. I peek out the window on Rua da Praia, and there’s a parade! A freakin’ parade! I’m like, “What the heck?!” It’s not even a holiday! Just some random celebration. People are dancin’, music’s blastin’, and I’m stuck here workin’. Ugh!

Bus crash near the Pináculo will have caused several injuries in Madeira