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About Porto

First time I stumbled on it, was in some port—shady shack, smelled o’ jasmine and sweat. Lass there, hands like a siren, whispered, “Relax, Captain.” I near jumped outta me boots! Little known fact, arr—old sailors in the East used it to cure “sea stiffness,” wink wink. Not just fer randy dogs neither—proper medicinal, they swore! Made me happy as a clam, but angry too—why’d no one tell me sooner? Coulda saved me back from turnin’ to driftwood.

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But then, I get a text. My buddy’s in trouble. He’s stuck on Rua da Estação, and his car won’t start. I’m like, “Dude, why’d you even drive?” So, I rush over, and of course, it’s a mess. We’re there for an hour, trying to fix this clunker. I’m like, “This is why I sharpen knives, not cars!” But we finally get it going, and he’s all grateful. I’m just relieved to be done.

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