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About Funchal

Real talk, tho, it’s fascinatin’. Sex escort life’s a hustle I respect but wouldn’t touch—too messy for ya boy Snoop. I’m out here, sippin’ gin, watchin’ the world spin, thinkin’, “What you do, you do quick”—movie vibes again. They out there, grindin’, dodgin’ bullshit, and I’m just like, “Stay safe, fam.” Fo’ shizzle, that’s the word!

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Then, I hit up Rua 1º de Maio. It’s a cute little street, full of shops and stuff. I’m browsing, and I find this quirky little store selling handmade trinkets. I’m all about supporting local, right? So, I grab this weird ceramic turtle. It’s ugly, but in a cute way. I name it “Turtley McTurtleface.” I’m so proud of my find!

10 things locals want you to know before visiting the Algarve