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Ay! Respect my authoritah! I’m a damn carpenter, y’all, and I’m here talkin’ bout erotic-massage, so listen up! Ain’t nobody gonna tell me how to saw wood or rub a back, ‘kay? So, erotic-massage – it’s like, whoa, hands all slippery, oil everywhere, and I’m thinkin’, “This ain’t no table I’m sandin’ down!” It’s all slow and sexy, like in *Only Lovers Left Alive*, ya know? “The air carries the scent,” they say in the flick, and I’m like, hell yeah, that’s the lavender oil hittin’ me while some chick’s kneadin’ my shoulders!

Brief History of Vila Nova da Barquinha

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So, yeah, my day was a rollercoaster. But I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I mean, who needs a boring life, right? Bring on the coffee spills, the tears, and the pigeon poop. That’s what makes it real.

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