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Ever tried it? Surprised me first time – thought it’d be awkward, but nah, it’s smooth. Like when Sean Parker says, “A million dollars isn’t cool – you know what’s cool?” Sexual-massage, that’s what! Gets the blood pumpin’, heart racin’ – better than a People’s Elbow drop! I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’, “Damn, this is next-level chill.” Pro tip: communication’s key – tell ‘em what’s good, no guessin’.

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As the night goes on, we end up at a karaoke spot. I’m not a singer, but after a few drinks, I’m convinced I’m the next big thing. I grab the mic and start belting out some old-school fado. The crowd goes wild! Or maybe they’re just being nice. Who knows?