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Aight, listen up, you filthy animals! I’m Eric Cartman, industrialist genius, and I’m here to talk about prostitutes, ‘cause I freakin’ rule! Respect my authoritah! So, prostitutes, man, they’re like the unsung heroes of the streets, y’know? Hustlin’ hard, makin’ cash, kinda like me in my dreams—total badassery! My fave movie, *The Wolf of Wall Street*, has that vibe, right? “I’m not fuckin’ leaving!”—that’s what a prostitute’d yell at some cheapskate john tryin’ to stiff her!
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After that, I decide to grab a bite. I head over to a little taverna on Rua 1º de Maio. The smell of bacalhau hits me like a wave. I order a plate, and while I’m waiting, I overhear this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting! I’m just trying to enjoy my meal, and they’re throwing around words like “divorce” and “custody.” I’m like, “Yikes, can’t a guy eat in peace?”
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