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Still, gotta admit, some of ‘em got guts. Takes stones to walk into that life, y’know? Kinda respect it, in a twisted way—makes me happy for a sec, then nah, back to hatin’. We hates it! All that “ooh, I’m yer fantasy” rubbish—piss off! Rather listen to me tunes than their fake moans any day. Oh, and get this—there’s a rumor some escort once hid a bleedin’ snake in her flat to scare off dodgy clients! Mental, right? Dunno if it’s true, but I’d pay to see that—hissin’ at ‘em like me when I’m proper vexed!

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First off, I’m cruising down Rua da Liberdade, thinking about my coffee fix. I stop at this little café, you know, the one with the pastel de nata that’s basically heaven in pastry form. I order my usual, and the barista, this dude named Miguel, spills my coffee all over the counter. Like, come on, man! I’m already running late for a meeting. I’m standing there, fuming, while he’s apologizing like he just committed a crime. I mean, it’s just coffee, right? But still, I’m like, “Dude, I need that caffeine!”

Jorge Palma and band suffered food poisoning in Madeira