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About Funchal

Hooked up once—girl said, “Let’s keep it casual.” Next day, she’s textin’, “Where’s my ring?” Bitch, what?! Felt like Termeh caught in the middle—trapped! I’m screamin’, “This ain’t love, it’s a swipe!” Got me heated, yo. But real talk, sometimes it’s fire—met this artist chick, freaky vibes, painted me naked after. Happiest I been in weeks! Sex-dating’s a dice roll—jackpot or jacked up.

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No matter what your relationship status is, there's something here for you. From my experiences with two and a half husbands (you read that correctly) to.

So, I’m sipping my bica, right? And I see this old guy selling oranges. He’s got this huge smile, like he’s just won the lottery. I’m thinking, “Man, I need that energy!” I buy an orange, and it’s the juiciest thing ever. Like, I’m talking juice running down my arm. Gross, but also kinda awesome.

Saving a species: Slow return of the Iberian lynx