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Sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’ backs, naw—it’s a whole dang art form. Picture this: hands slidin’ over skin, oils smellin’ like heaven, and a vibe that’s hotter’n a Tennessee summer. I reckon it’s ‘bout releasin’ stress and wakin’ up every nerve—like when Nemo’s daddy, Marlin, gets all riled up chasin’ after his boy. It’s intense, y’all! I got my first one years back, some lil’ spa in Nashville, and lordy, I was madder’n a wet hen when it ended too soon. Wanted to holler, “Fish are friends, not food!”—er, I mean, “Keep goin’, don’t stop!”

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Finally, I head to the local market. It’s buzzing! Fresh produce, people chatting, and the smell of grilled chorizo wafting through the air. I grab a sandwich, and it’s the best thing ever. I’m munching away, feeling good again. But then, I see Carlos again! He’s just hanging out, like he didn’t just dodge me earlier. I’m like, “Seriously, dude?”

Obituary for JOSEPH MATTHEW SERPA